Use Dale Carnegie’s timeless advice and get the most out of your event suppliers and collaborators.
When planning a wedding or a bar/bat-mitzvah in Israel you inevitably have to interact with a lot of people from different backgrounds, both professional and cultural. You’ll have to work with your families and friends as well as with your suppliers. It is your job to align all these people’s interest with yours; in other words, you need to get the best out of them so you can have the celebration of your dreams. Sounds difficult, right? I mean, rallying so many people and having them do their part – and do it the best they can for a goal that is ultimately not their own seems like an insurmountable task. Fortunately, it is not as complicated as you might think, at least if you follow Dale Carnegie’s timeless advice.
1) Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere: Listen. Asking for somebody’s help is not always an easy task. Getting good prices and winning the sympathy of your supplier, isn’t a piece of cake either. So what’s the best way to get your friends and family genuinely interested in actively participating in your wedding or bat mitzvah, and your supplier’s commitment to excel? Listen to what they have to say, and show interest- real interest- in what they’re saying. Dale Carnegie says that all of us like people who admire us. For example, when meeting a supplier don’t just “get to the point” and start talking about your wedding. Ask questions about her work, her experience, what’s the part of her job that she most enjoys, etc., and show real interest. Same with your friends and family. Don’t just assume they’ll help because they are related to you. You have to get them interested and the best way to do it is by asking them what would be the best way/time/task for them to help you.
2) The easiest way to make a good impression: Smile. Actions speak louder than words and a smile says “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you”. Dale’s advise for making a good impression is so simple and so obvious it is surprising how easily we forget to put it into practice: SMILE. I’m not talking about a mechanical smile, an insincere grin. I mean a smile, a heart warming one. I’ll leave with an excerpt found in Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people”:
“Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who faces a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking in the clouds”.
3) If you don’t do this, you’re headed for trouble: Remember Names. Remember how you felt when someone called you the wrong name or simply didn’t recall yours? Our name is one of the most precious things we have and hearing someone saying it makes us feel important, it singles us out from the crowd and individualizes us. So after a meeting with a supplier or contractor be sure to remember his/her name and the name of their assistants and co-workers. Good manners will bring you a great event. But, as the saying goes “good manners are made up of petty sacrifices”.